i did an experiment the other day.

laying in bed (in my tin foil haven), i said – out loud – “I am human”. i tried it a few times.

to start with i was fearful. what if i was? what if all my experiences are some mental aberration? the fear subsided as i resigned myself (submitted) to the possibility.

the words felt flat and lifeless, though, as if it wasn’t my voice speaking them. they didn’t travel out into the world, didn’t engage with the walls.

so i tried the opposite. “i am not human”. funny feeling, still flat.

then i tried: “i’m an alien”. weird. its like a different part of my face is speaking. still, i get warm fuzzies. instant feeling of rightness. phew.

it nags the question, though. have i got my rightness and not-rightness senses mixed up? what if all those times things felt right , they weren’t?

argh.